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Perhaps riding a horse on the beach isn’t so great?
Have you ever noticed how the commercials for medicines for herpes, male impotence, and whatever other sexually related disease you can think of tend to be the cheesiest? It’s always some middle-aged douchey-looking handsome guy playing tennis or painting a picture as he turns to the camera and goes, “I have genital herpes.” (Boy, I wish a man would whisper those sweet nothings into my ear…)
In a similar vein, I’m sure you have noticed that the same “cheese factor” goes for birth control commercials as well….only this time it’s a girl kickboxing in the morning and riding a horse on the beach in the evening. One random day about a year ago, I decided to start to pay attention to these commercials. What I noticed is that after a new commercial for the birth control patch or baby-blocking thingamajig to stick up your vajayjay premieres, about six months later that commercial vanishes into thin air never to be seen again. Around the time it disappears, new commercials for class action lawsuits start to appear.
As my unscientific study concluded, the truth hurts, and sometimes it kills. Remember Gardasil, the HPV vaccine that was supposed to be the holy grail for girls everywhere? Those commercials disappeared a while ago:
The public interest group Judicial Watch recently obtained more than 8,000 reports, under the US Freedom of Information law, of adverse events in girls and young women after they were injected with the HPV vaccine Gardasil.
The reports reveal everything from massive wart outbreaks to seizures, paralysis and death.
Ten deaths have been reported since September 2007, bringing the total to 18 since the vaccine was approved for use in 2006.
In this year there have been 140 reported “serious” complications, 27 of which were categorized as “life-threatening,” as well as ten spontaneous abortions and six cases of Guillain-Barré Syndrome, a very rare (1 in 100,000 in a healthy population) immune response to foreign antigens such as infectious agents or vaccines, that paralyzes the afflicted person.
And may I remind you that Gardasil was the vaccine they were trying to push onto junior high schools.
Mary Mother of God, please pray for us. We’re killing ourselves for the sake of orgasms.
Pax Christi, Rebecca.
